Heart, yes – but with discernment

While for many people the task may be to finally connect with their heart and allow themselves to feel, for some others that is not the issue at all, because they are already “in the heart”. For them, the task tends to be learning to trust their inner knowing, clear seeing and intuition. In short: practising discernment.

Because the heart alone is not enough to navigate this reality.

Opening up, being empathetic, feeling, loving ... wonderful. But not every movement of the heart is automatically an instruction to act.

I can feel compassion without having to feel responsible. I can understand someone without approving of their behaviour. I can see the good in someone without overriding everything else I have seen. I can feel moved without turning that into trust. And I can love and still say no.

Being open-hearted and freely sharing personal information with everyone and in every situation, or blindly placing your own life in someone else’s hands, is inappropriate. And constantly helping without being asked is intrusive.

The problem does not necessarily lie in our perception. We may genuinely see something beautiful, vulnerable or lovable in another person. We may feel a deep connection or recognise something in them that may even be true. It becomes problematic when we turn what we perceive into assumptions and expectations that are not actually supported by it.

I see the good in someone – therefore I trust them. I understand their vulnerability – therefore they will see mine too.

I feel love – therefore this relationship is good for me.

I see their potential – therefore it will be realised.

I can help – therefore I should help.

The heart can perceive something true – and we can still draw the wrong conclusions from it. And above all, we cannot simply assume that others are like us. Of course, we do that all the time anyway, but it is a deceptive logic. Just because you are honest and fair you cannot expect everybody else to be like that.

Discernment therefore means distinguishing between: What have I actually perceived? What am I merely assuming? What do I expect on the basis of that assumption? And what does it really mean for how I act?

So yes to the heart, but with discernment.

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Originally published: 01. August 2022 on Atelier Ananda

Revised: 12. September 2026